If you can or know someone who can help her,
please write her at Mysty_Love_99@yahoo.com
She is in Toledo, Ohio.
contacting you because
I have been to your website and see you do thorough work. I was
if you could refer me to someone that can help especially my son.
The family is indigent with having been in this ongoing battle with the
system since 1997; so there are no funds available. It causes a major
For some reason I cannot find anyone to represent or even be an
for my son at the court hearings. He is not represented at all.
has no GAL, CASA, nor Atty. How can this be?
in 1997 I caught my then 12 yr old son with his 6yr old sister in his room without any panties on. They admitted he had licked her down there ... no penetration. I took him to his ADHD psych whom was mandated to report anything sexual to the CPS. He admitted him into the Adolescent psych unit at the local hospital. He was there for 15 days--all the insurance would pay for. He received sexual offender treatment classes during his stay. CPS met with me at the hospital for all the details. During this time it was also discovered that my son and my 13yr old daughter had been in a sexual type of relationship since they were toddlers, and had stopped it approx 2 yrs prior. During this questioning .... it was found that my niece who is the same age as my son, who had been sexually abused by her dad when she was 2; had demonstrated on my son and daughter -- way back when they were all toddlers, what her daddy had done to her. Hence, their becoming sexually reactive toddlers. They ruled it to be consensual because of their age and no force.. they mutually engaged. They released him back to the home...straight from the hospital under strict guidelines we were to follow. An alarm put on his bedroom door, him never alone in any room with any of the girls, him and the rest of the family to enter into sex offender, victim, non-offending parent, coping and family therapy. We did everything we were told ... CPS closed the case being satisfied with the family's progress.
Late 1998--early 1999; my son gets caught stealing from the neighborhood store. He stole 2 bic lighters. He is arrested and put on probation. The probation officer gets a major attitude because he wasn't charged with sexual offending back in 97. She made the statement she was going to do something about it. Because it was supposed to be a theft case in which he definitely was guilty of .. he didn't have any atty. We didn't have any atty. It wasn't about us. When we went to court for the stealing, it became about him sexually raping both his sisters. The PO had called CPS in. The PO wrote on the report it just had happened and us parents didn't do anything about it. She also wrote that he planned on setting fires with the lighters .. she said why else would he steal lighters. Because he did it on a dare from his friend. If it would have been candy, or anything else sitting on the cash register infront of the cashier. I tried to explain what happened, what preventive measures we were still enforcing in the home. That it didn't just happen it was almost 2 yrs prior. That it was ruled consensual between him and his older sister. That he had only (I know there's that excusive-justifying word) touched his little sister one time. The judge told me shut up he had the report sitting in front of him and that was all he needed. I kept trying to explain, but was told I would be charged with contempt. The next time I tried to open my mouth the judge said he would send my son to jail; all because I kept trying to tell the judge the actual events. Not the made up events. Well the judge ordered us all back into treatment. I hushed and thought I would just talk to the CPS-CW because they had all the records in their files. They knew it had happened almost 2 yrs ago and we went through treatment.
had refused to look in the backfiles. She wanted to get her own fresh
perspective on the
family. I had gotten all the proof of the previous therapy for the
family. But was told that didn't matter, because they needed to go by
report and what the judge had ordered for the family. She made the
statement that it says he re-offended and so the family needs further
argued and argued the facts. None of that mattered. We all
went back into therapy. Here's what happened there. The whole family
kept telling the truth. That there was no new offense. We were all
were all in denial. Us parents weren't capable of protecting our girls
from this sex crazed boy because we refuse to get honest. My son's
therapy wasn't progressing at all, because he refused to get honest. He
to tell them he forcefully raped his sisters. He refused to admit to
raping his older sister at all and kept insisting it was consensual. He
refused to say he repeatedly raped his little sister, insisting that it
happened one time, and that is all. The girls were going to allow him
victimize them again because they were making excuses for him. The
older one was
saying she was just as much a part of what went on as he was. The
youngest was saying that her brother only touched her that one time.
would admit to being frightened of their brother. They both said they
loved their brother. They both said he never hurt either one of them.
parents, hellll.... the way they began wording it .. was allowing the
have sex orgies right in front of us; and we didn't do a damn thing
it. All this was said in the next court hearing. That the family just
wasn't cooperating. That the family wasn't getting honest or going
the therapy. That it was all going to keep happening. We still didn't
have any attys appointed by the courts or
anything. I attempted to speak again in the courtroom was told to shut
up by the
to be so difficult. I was told to cooperate or he was going to
take all 3
kids from us. My son asked for a lie detector test. They told him no
necessary. They had the report and that is all that was needed.
report is wrong. No the report isn't wrong you are just in denial
children are having sex right under your roof. I said excuse me
but I am
the one that took my son to the hospital for treatment. He
couldn't have because the report says no treatment was received.
Why are you
trying to lie to me? You know I can lock you up, then the state
your children anyways. So shut up and cooperate. Quit making
your son and think of your daughters and all the other children
that your son might rape. The judge just set
and on. The
family never changed their accounting of how everything came
argued up a storm. Became even more difficult with the CPS. I was
like crazy on the computer. Their invasions in the home put my
and myself at odds. They picked up on that and began playing one
the other. They said I was a computer addict; in being a computer
I was unable to care or even watch my children. Funny thing is I still
volunteered at the school 3-4 days a week. I went to every therapy
in the family. My computer usage became just as much liability
in the case
as my son's propensity for sexual offending.
report given to
the CPS was that the family was still in denial. No advancements made
therapy. My son was going to keep offending the girls. The
going to allow their brother to keep victimizing them. Us parents
to allow it to keep going on. Us parents were at odds with each
couldn't care for the children like we should. That
I finally quit fighting the system and succumbed so I could get my children back. I did everything they said to do. I even filed for divorce and pressed DV charges on my husband as they suggested. Once I did that .. I got my girls back the very next day. Even though there was no actual violence in the home. He raised his voice alot. Admitted to being stressed out because of his job. Admitted to being stressed about the whole situation. Admitted to acting irrationally at times. All 3 children were appointed a GAL. The same one. He had only appeared at one or two of the court hearings for the children. He never met the children. He finally met the children just before I was given back the girls January 2000; the children being out of the home for 4 months. None of them have seen the GAL again. In fact this GAL is no longer even practicing. He was charged with some criminal acts.
I didn't receive custody back of my son, because they felt the girls should settle back in first. (they lie so dang much) The fostercare giver they placed my son with had a job. Her rules was she could only leave my son with my mother or with another contracted foster home while she worked. Most of the time my mom got him. His therapy still wasn't advancing. He still was a liar. He needed to get honest or he was never coming home. He needed to admit to forcefully raping both his sisters. In which he didn't do, so he wasn't going to admit to doing it. I was still making excuses for his actions, therefore I was part of his problem. He begged for a lie detector test to prove that he wasn't lying. I asked for one for him so I would know the truth for sure. They refused him one. Well ... this sitter the fostercare woman had for my son, when she didn't ask my mother to care for him, wasn't supposed to be watching any other children but one at a time.
she had 2 other
boys besides my son. This had happened many times in the
There was a boy the same age as my son, a sex offender also
confidentiality I didn't find this out till much later) and a 8yr
She had been sitting the two of them for quite a while from the
info I have
received. My son had caught the two boys being sexual. He
didn't tell anyone.
The boy that is my son's age had threatened my son if he
told he would
tell some lies, to make sure he would never be returned home.
boy constantly forced the younger one to perform sexually on him.
had told him, he was going to tell, the boy had stolen a couple
tapes from the woman's house and blamed my son. Then told
my son that
it was only a sample of what he could do. All my son's belongings
at his fostercare home. They even went to his school and
locker. There was nothing. My son had said he thought maybe
boy mistakenly took them home with him. They found the tapes at the
house. My son learned his lesson. He didn't want to cause any
kept his mouth shut. The woman was never supposed to leave the
Even if she had just one. But she wasn't
they say it was
my son who did everything. I am not being blind to what my son is
... but he had no reason to lie to me. I looked him directly in
and I knew he was telling me the truth. He said he realized he
listened to the other boy's threats, but he really wanted to come
home so he
didn't want any trouble. He stuck to the same story. The other
kept changing. My son was then charged with
Nowwww ... at first because my son is a liar, he don't go no where inthe program. He is told he can't get honest. He refuses to admit to doinganything. But yet they say he admits to one time with his little sister. Headmits to one time with the younger boy. He admits to consensualrelationship with his sister. He admits feeling aroused when watching girls in swimsuits. He asks again for a lie detector test. He is refused. He isconstantly told he isn't going anywhere in the program until he gets honest.The rules of the facility ... the first 30 days no contact with anyoneoutside the facility except his PO. Then he gets to write a letter a weekhome. He will get 5 min phone call home 1x a week. He will get more, the more he advances. Parents get a visit the 1st Sat of every month. Every sooften they get a special visit the 3rd SU of the month. They also get tocall home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. The more he tries to advance he istold he still isn't getting honest. Because he will not admit to raping hissisters. He will not admit to touching his sister more than once. Thetherapist finally begins believing him a little bit because his story neverchanged. The therapist tells me to get his older sister into the girls sexoffender treatment. specifically focusing on the relapse prevention. In hertreatment her story coincides with his. They haven't spoken in going on2yrs. She takes as much responsibility for her actions as he does. She confirms, that there were times she went to him. She confirms there was norape. July 2001 -- they finally give him a lie detector test. It confirmseverything he has been telling these people. It confirms he isn't a liar. Itconfirms he had touched his little sister that one time. It confirms thatwhat he has told them about the young boy incident was the truth. Now he is no longer called a liar. He begins advancing the levels. He begins notgetting any points against him. August 2001 -- I'm given back full custodyof him under the stipulation .. he is to complete this program without anyinterference from me. I agree. He keeps advancing with no problems. Hisolder sister completes her treatment here in town and begins her visits with her brother. He has reached the level where he can leave grounds for thevisit.November 2001, he gets into what is the last level before returning home. It is called positive living day care. He stays at a fostercare home contracted through the facility, and attends school, therapy, and all events at the facility. He basically sleeps at the foster care home. He is taken to the facility at 6:30 am and back to the fostercare home at 6:30pm. The purpose of it is to see how he is under a less controlled environment. They do a no contact for 30 days thing again. I disputed it. I got a visit before the 30 days. I did not get my Thanksgiving call though. We are told his little sister can begin visits for the Christmas visit day. For the Christmas visit .. he cannot leave the grounds. ... because ...he steals ....... at the fostercare home in which he is staying .. his mouth hurt so he used some of their peroxide to rinse his mouth .. without asking.
he's stalking--preditoring--staking out his next victim .. he was reading a phone book..... something he has always done every since he first learned to read...to enhance and test his memory skills.
I never received my Christmas phone call. I had never yet received a call from him since he's been at the fostercare home. I finally receive a call from him on his usual Wed call day. The following TU, I receive a call from him ... earlier than usual. I hear his therapist telling him what to say in the back ground. He was told to call me to tell me he lost his level which it takes a month to get the level back. I hear him crying as he is speaking to me. ... here is the reasons for losing the level.....
he lies ...... he was asked if his wash was done; he said yes. He fell asleep, the fostercare woman came into his room and called him a liar because he had clothes in the dryer.
he's teasing the birds ...... where he is staying they have a couple parrots and a cockatoo bird ... everytime he would walk by he would make a noise and the birds would squawk. ... we have birds and our bird loves for you to make a noise and she will answer you everytime. Sometimes she will sit and make all kinds of noise until you do talk to her.
he's trying to coerce the dog into sex ....... he wouldn't leave the dog alone .... was always playing with the dog.... I asked if he was touching inappropriately .. they said no .. but he was always petting and playing with the dog; the dog was following him everywhere.
The next day .. Wed his usual call home day ... he calls... The woman heard us talking about the call the day before. He was telling me what all he had done to attempt to make amends for his behavior. Writing letters, apologizing, ignoring others bad behaviors, keeping away from the animals-even though he loves animals. I hear her come up closer, she called him a liar. She said you know there is only one call a week allowed. when you didn't tell me you talked to your mom yesterday, and then called today, you are lying! You know one call a week. I was saying but it can't be considered a call. We didn't get our whole 15 min. I heard her raise her voice and tell him to hang up that phone right now! He said bye, I love you, gotta go, it is the rules, rules are rules. and he hung up.
It's now the following Sat.. the 2nd Sat of the month. We go for our visit. He cannot leave grounds. We discuss the events that happened. The therapist keeps coming in listening to our conversations. We're given some family therapy work to do. Some relapse prevention paperwork. A bunch of scenerios that could happen and how would we handle them if they come up. My son tells me that CPS was there earlier in the week. Mind you ... I have full custody. They are part of a cluster that helps pay for his treatment. I was told that periodically they would send someone to check on his progress. But .. my son tells me the CW told him that with his criminal behaviors, he isn't ever coming home. That he was requesting my son be sent to foster care once he is released from there. That he was also going to request the agency to take full custody again. I bring this up to the therapist. The therapist says it is because I make excuses for my son's behaviors. I don't see the seriousness of looking at a phonebook. I only say well he has done this all his life instead of seeing that it is a sexual thing! That I say he loves animals and has always played with dogs. I am then told that I don't see the danger in him getting close to a dog! I tell him well excuse me, but I do not and will not see something sexual in everything my son does. There is other life besides something sexual. He said that is exactly why we are going to request the state take back custody of him. He said we have rules and guidelines we must follow. I said, yeah well I believe and follow the Constitution of Parental Rights. He said we don't have to follow that. We only have to keep him from another sexual offense. Then I was fuming and I mentioned the center for children's justice and it was truly a kodak moment.
the therapist said, yeah I've heard of them .. and he couldn't wait to get out the door. He almost ran out of the room. He didn't say he had to go or anything. He just walked right out. Little did I know that the ccj only worked for justice for the children in divorce matters. So they were of no help to me actually.
Which tells me .... I need to get him some legal council. He has no atty. I have an atty .. but .. she isn't his. He desperately needs one that will be on his side. One that will make sure he has some rights, in which as you see every one of his rights has been violated and in every way. He needs someone to speak for him at the hearings I am about to be entering. He served his time.
Our next visit .. well, our son is now in the position of having to get me to believe he is a high risk. That looking at a phonebook can mean he is going to stalk someone. Why would he now begin to stalk when it wasn't an mo of his before? He also has to convince me that I must see sex in every movement he makes. I'm not perverted, I'm sorry. I just can't see sex in every movement of a person. If force was involved maybe I could, but there was no force.
not on my regularly scheduled day, Wed, but on Fri. The facility
appointed fostercare home does not want him calling me from her
He's only called me 2x's so far from there. So now he will have
call from the facility on the speaker phone. He must get me to
that I am minimizing what he has done. That children services
to take him back into custody so they can put him in foster care here
his return locally. That the girl's must have therapy ... somehow
... once again the report is saying there has been no therapy except
my son and the oldest daughter having only minimal. The truth being ..
the girls have had 4yrs of therapy. Us parents have had every
of therapy there is for having incest in the home. His younger
who had just gotten permission to visit at Christmas time, can no
visit, due to her not accepting how serious his molesting her
back to therapy
and learn to hate her brother for touching her that one time.
she seems not to be affected by it at all. As I said it happened one
and no penetration. She was not hurt in this ordeal. If I
caught them that first time I am quite sure it would have escalated to
much much more. That is why I took him to see his psych
Also, now he will not be allowed to leave grounds with us on
Because, the one time when we went offgrounds just before Christmas, we
went to eat then to Walmarts. Well, one of his peers at the
has said that my son was unsupervised in Walmarts. The kid wasn't
even at Walmarts! He was back at the facility! He said my
told him he was all over Walmarts all by himself. The facility is
taking the kid's word for it, instead of my son or ours. My son
he never said anything about being alone at Walmarts. He said he
walked all around Walmarts, but never said that he was alone,
This is getting to be a bunch of allegations again just like it was to
begin with. We need some kind of help ASAP!!!